The Dreaded SAHM Question
Being back at work has given me so many things. Including a break from changing non-stop diapers everyday.
Most of all it has given me an answer to that most dreaded of questions. “What do you do for a living?”
While it’s a harmless question, every time I answered it the conversation fell flat on its face.
Part of it was the other person not knowing how to keep the dialogue going. Part of it was me still trying to figure out how to define my new life. While not wanting to call taking care of my child a “job”.
Now that I’m back to work it’s not a problem. I'm grateful that I was able to know and understand both sides.
In talking to my SAHM friends I’ve found out I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Here are few other SAHM questions to be sensitive of when talking to New Moms.
Are You Going To Go Back?
Not only does this question ask a New Mom to look way too far down the line, it's a heavy topic for a cocktail party. Some Mom's just don't know. And that's OK.
What Do You Do All Day?
Most SAHM do the same thing every day...they work their butt off. These little ones will keep you running! Ontop of that their's all the regular chores and errands you had to do before baby that still need to get done (laundry, groceries, cleaning, cooking). All that AND no co-workers to gripe with. If you meet a SAHM at a dinner party chances are she wants to talk about ANYTHING except her day. Give her a break and ask what she used to like to binge watch (chances are she's dying to find out what happened to her favorite characters!)
But You Get To Be With You Kid All Day
Typically the follow up to, What do you do all day?. We SAHM get it you want to remind us of the positive in it all. Being a SAHM can be isolating. When you finally get to be around adults you want to feel heard. Try saying, it sounds like you're doing a great job. Like all new Mom's she's probably doubting herself. Hearing this will make her day!
How Do You Feel Now That You're Not Making Your Own Money
Just because a Mom isn't bringing in any money doesn't mean she doesn't have any, or that she has to ask permission to spend it. Before we had our son, my husband and I considered our income to be shared, and we still do. Most couples are the same and it doesn't change once you have a baby.
You Must Get Time To Yourself With A Mom/Nanny To Help Out
I had and have LOTS of help from my Mom. I know other SAHM who have Nannies. It doesn't free up too much time. My Mom would watch our son so I could: go to the bathroom, take a shower, throw laundry in the machine, make (and eat) something, go to the grocery store, and a bunch of other necessary things. It really does take a village.
I Wish I Could Wear Yoga Pants All Day
Wearing yoga pants all day is nice. But it's also a our work wardrobe. I have a closet full of suits, skirts and dresses. If I wear any of these while hanging out with my son it will ruined by the end of the day. Not too mention it's totally impractical. Just like work attire, you wear it because the job requires it. But it's still nice to change it up once a week.
I Just Don't Think I Could Stop Working
Neither did I. But like all things in life it's a personal choice. While it might not be for you, I've never met a SAHM who regretted her decision.