Guilt isn't a feeling that I have much experience with. I've always made careful reflective choices in my life to ensure I don't have any regrets.
Sure I have done and said things I realized were a mistake later and felt badly about. Especially if I couldn't fix the situation. But on the whole I've always felt good with my day-to-day decisions.
That was until I became a Mom. Since then I have guilt on a daily basis.
I let him watch too much TV today, we didn't go to the park, I forgot about story time, he didn't eat a healthy breakfast, I should have really changed his diaper 20 minutes ago.
Almost anything and everything makes me feel Mom Guilt. Even things I can't control like when he fell asleep in the shopping cart out of no where!
That overwhelming sensation that you are doing a terrible job as a mother and letting down this little person by not making every day on this earth their best to help them grow to their most potential. That's Mom Guilt.......and that's allot of pressure!
On top of that then there's the guilt you feel from Mom Guilt.
He fell down and bumped his head. I'm such a bad mom. I should stop thinking this way and just appreciate that I was here to kiss his bump. I'm such a bad mom for thinking about me and not him.
It's a terrible cycle and it will make you feel crazy.
I recently googled Mom Guilt to see if I was the only one.
NOPE! I found pages and pages of information on Mom Guilt. It's unbelievably common.
But why? We can't all be such terrible parents that it warrants this level of daily concern, overriding our ability to enjoy our children's lives.
I ran a quick check list for myself:
Do I love my son? Yes
Do I give him kisses, hugs, positive feedback? Yes
Do I teach him how to grow and develop for himself? Yes
Do I take him to the Dr for shots and anything else he needs? Yes
Do I make sure he is eating healthy well rounded meals? Yes
Do I sometimes let him watch more TV than he should? Yes
Do I sometimes let him have more dessert than he should? Yes
Does he sometimes fall down on my watch and hurt himself? Yes
Am I always there to tell him it's OK and that it will be all right? Yes
Will I always do my best to give him everything he needs in life emotionally and to become a wonderful human being? YES
Is he happy, loving, growing like a weed, and thriving in life? Yes
Am I a bad mom......No
Should I feel guilty.......NO!
Am I going to have to remind myself of this ALLOT....YES
I think if we all ask ourselves similar questions everyday or every time we feel guilt we can kick Mom Guilt to the curb.
In the end we will be happier for it and so will our kids. And isn't that the best thing of all to not feel guilty about.
BEST OF LUCK!